


The Love We Share

by JustAPassingGlance



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-09
Updated: 2014-08-09
Packaged: 2018-02-23 00:25:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2527160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAPassingGlance/pseuds/JustAPassingGlance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>”You always kiss me differently,” he said as he moved off Blaine and to the edge of the bed, “After you’ve kissed someone else.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Love We Share

**Author's Note:**

> Have some QAF inspired angst

"Honey! I’m home," he called sarcastically. His voice echoed back at him as it bounced off the empty apartment walls. Carelessly he threw his tie across the back of the sofa and stomped his way to the bedroom.

Two weeks ago Blaine’s disgruntled, tired face would have been waiting to greet him, grumbling that Sebastian was cutting it dangerously close to their self-imposed 3.30 curfew.

Two weeks ago his phone would have been filled with messages of varying degrees of suggestiveness, trying to lure him back home.

But these days it was Blaine who was coming home with minutes to spare before immediately jumping in the shower with excuses of a strenuous practice session and just wanting to relax. Rehearsal, he claimed, for his upcoming show, the name of which always managed to evade their conversations.

"Fuck it," Sebastian muttered. He tripped over his feet and had to grab onto the wall for balance. He breathed in heavily and luxuriated in the way his head spun, all of his senses drunkenly dancing away from him before rolling back.

He found his way to bed, striping completely except for a sock he couldn’t manage to wrangle off. Burrowing under the covers, he pointedly did not care about the way his limbs could splay the entire length of the bed without being inhibited by another body.

No. Fuck pointedly not caring. He would fucking revel in it.

* * *

Sebastian didn’t know when he had accepted that the loft apartment was  _theirs_  and not just his.

He remembered the nights he had stumbled in, drunk and a little bit high and confused by the brown haired, brown eyed boy that was half-asleep in front of the TV, waiting for him to come home. Somehow that surprise had disappeared and been replaced by an unsettling feeling of…  _something_  every time he slid the door open and Blaine’s sleepy, smiling face didn’t pop up over the back of the sofa.

Showering, though, was much more efficient when it was just him. Better for the environment.  Not that he cared particularly. All that ‘going green’ nonsense seemed like a lot of time and effort to spend on a world that was so intent on killing itself in so many other ways.

He was standing at the refrigerator with only a towel slung low around his hips and trails of water still winding their way down his skin when Blaine came home. He barely had time to put the pitcher of water down on the counter before he was being pushed towards the bedroom, towel torn off in the process as he stumbled his way backwards and fell onto the bed. By the time Blaine crawled on top of him he had also shed all of his clothing, throwing his shirt haphazardly over his shoulder and kicking his pants and underwear under the bed.

It had been almost a week since they last touched each other. Almost a week since anyone had touched Sebastian, and Blaine’s kisses scorched a trail up and down his body. He felt the marks being sucked into his skin and didn’t even think to reprimand him like he normally did. Marks were for kids, claiming for those who belonged to each other. Sebastian didn’t belong to anyone. Some days he thought he didn’t even belong to himself, he was just a wild ball of chaotic, uncontrollable energy that had been released on the world.

Growing impatient, Sebastian flipped them over. He hovered above Blaine, eyes bright from the victory of his conquest before swooping down for a devouring kiss. Blaine groaned, mouth warm and pliant beneath his. Lazily, Blaine’s tongue traced along his lower lips, his teeth pulling it between them in a teasing bite, his hands reaching up to card through Sebastian’s hair.

Suddenly not in the mood, Sebastian pulled back.

"You always kiss me differently," he said as he moved off Blaine and to the edge of the bed, "after you’ve kissed someone else."

It was the closest he’d ever get to admitting he cared. The closest he’d get to saying  _I know your lies. We made rules, you and I. And I know every one you’ve broke. Every man whose name you’ve let linger on your lips. The boy you’ve had more than twice, the one you kiss when you should be kissing me. I’ve known about him since the day you met._

"I-" Blaine’s mouth opened and closed around denials he couldn’t form. "Sebastian," he sighed, only to be silenced by Sebastian’s glaring eyes.

A taut silence grew between them, begging to be snapped.

"There’s a guy at school.” The words fell thick and clumsy from Blaine’s mouth. “He uses the same practice room as I do. He wrote me a song."

Sebastian shrugged, a rolling of his shoulders that rippled through his body as his entire posture shifted. A ploy at nonchalance that he could only hope Blaine bought. “I can’t compete with that.” He could. Could buy Blaine anything, bring him anywhere. But he wouldn’t. It wasn’t him. Not even for the honey-eyed boy in front of him. They fucked and slept together. Lived together out of necessity and convenience and a faint sense of obligation.

They might both live in the same one-bedroom loft. But that didn’t mean there had to be anything domestic about it. About them.

"Why not?" Blaine yelled, finally angry enough to raise his voice. "I want you to. You wouldn’t even have to…" He trailed off with a shake of his head, the word  _try_  falling from his mouth in less than a whisper. “I want you. Only you.”

"You have me." Sebastian splayed his arms wide, offering up his naked chest in display.

"Yeah." Blaine groped around under the bed to retrieve his hastily discarded underwear, the conversation alone making him feel more naked than he ever had in Sebastian’s bed. "Only after 3 every night."

"Closer to four by the time you get home." Another rule broken. Four for four.

"Earlier today he told me he loves me," Blaine admitted quietly, side-stepping the blame Sebastian was trying to place on him. "He promised he would do anything for me."

With a shake of his head, Sebastian dismissed the image of Blaine and this boy. Sitting side by side at the piano. Leaning into a lingering kiss. Did they fuck right there on the wooden bench (No, not fuck. Have sex. Make love.) or did they manage to make it back to the dorms? Sebastian had his money on fucking right there, he knew better than anyone how insatiable Blaine was. How desperate and wanton he could be under that dapper and innocent exterior. He probably had pushed his mystery boy down before the last note had even finished, so eager to show his appreciation.

"And you said you loved him too?" Sebastian sneered. "How precious. Should I get someone to start planning the wedding? Have Sugar help you look for houses? I see you in a three bedroom, on the outskirts of town. A little too big now, but it will give you room to grow. A nice little garden out front and a piano, next to the fireplace. You’ll spend most of your evenings there."

Blaine’s hand snapped out and, with an echoing  _smack_ , slapped Sebastian across the face. “I didn’t say anything.” His eyes widened, a telltale sign that he was lying and his cheeks flushed guiltily.

"Don’t lie to me," hissed Sebastian, jaw clenched against the sting in his cheek. "And," he continued as Blaine opened his mouth to protest his innocence, "Don’t lie to me about lying to me. I know you better than that."

"If you know me so well, why are you doing this to me?" Angry tears formed at the corners of Blaine’s eyes and threatened to spill down.

"I’m not doing anything to you. This," he gestured to the space between them, "is what we agreed on. We sat down over there," he jabbed his finger towards the couch, "and this is what we decided on."

"What you decided on!"

"You made all four of those stupid stipulations.” Sebastian didn’t add that it was also Blaine who had broken all of them. “We can fuck whoever we want, as long as it’s not twice,” he began, counting them off on his fingers. “No names or numbers exchanged. Home no later than 3.30. And we don’t kiss anyone on the mouth but each other. Those are your rules, not mine.”

"Because it was the only way I could have any of you."

"And you agreed to this. The fucking around and the fact that we aren’t a relationship. You knew what you were getting into when you signed up for this. I’ve been nothing but honest with you from the start."

"Well excuse me for being stupid enough to think-"

"You thought wrong. And if you’re so unhappy with the way we are," his lips curled around the words, "then maybe you should just go." Angrily he gestured to the door, battling his inner dramatic that wanted to gather all of Blaine’s things up and toss them into the hall, pushing the boy out after them and slamming the door shut in his face.

"If that’s really what you want…" Blaine’s eyes radiated the defeat he felt, his shoulder slumped forward in exhaustion from how long they had been doing this dance. Locked in a relationship that gave neither of them exactly what they wanted and both unable or unwilling to find their way out.

Sebastian shrugged tightly. He had opened his home to Blaine, let him stay, let him live with him. If there was one thing Sebastian was always clear about it was what, exactly, he wanted. Just because he didn’t want to be exclusive and in love with Blaine, didn’t mean he wasn’t the one he wanted to come home to every day. The one he wanted to fuck over and over.

"And what do you want, Blaine?" He asked, mocking malice lacing the words.

"You," Blaine breathed, echoing his words from earlier. "All I’ve ever wanted was you. And you’ve made it more than clear you don’t feel the same."

There was nothing Sebastian hated more than being told what it was he felt. “Oh really?”

"If you did, if you felt even half of what I do for you, we wouldn’t be here," he cried. "I’m about to leave and you’re not even willing to fight to keep me."

Sebastian shrugged.

"You’re an asshole," Blaine spat over the silence. He took one step away from the bed, then another.

Silently, Sebastian pulled back the covers, inviting Blaine to crawl back in next to him and forget the entire conversation.

It wasn’t a promise or a declaration. Maybe it could be classified as a temporary concession, a cease-fire to hold them over until morning. Sebastian wouldn’t forget who it was Blaine was with when he wasn’t with him and Blaine wouldn’t forget all the things he wanted but wasn’t getting. The discontent would grow and fester, rotting them from the inside out.

Sighing, Blaine slid between the sheets.

It wasn’t for Sebastian to keep Blaine, a boy who hadn’t even been born the first time he jerked off. Sebastian had known that from the beginning, even if he was the only one who had. Blaine was his to fuck; his youthful body just begging to be used and abused. Blaine kept his bed smoking hot while Sebastian begrudgingly accepted that he occupied a corner of Blaine’s heart.

And that was it. That was all. Blaine would grow up, grow out of him. Move on, move away. And he would content himself, once again, in the endless stream of men that lined up for him.

Can’t teach and old dog new tricks, his father had always said. And Sebastian had been set in his ways for years.

But just because Blaine wasn’t his to keep, didn’t mean he could be selfless enough to make him go. Somehow, against all odds and despite the dizzying array of brightly colored bow ties and unwaveringly sunny disposition, the eighteen year old had wormed his way into Sebastian. Dug his way into Sebastian's brain and nested there. Infecting him, like a parasite.

That Blaine would one day leave him was inevitable. And it wasn’t Sebastian’s place to stop him (chase him. Catch him. Hold him and never let him go) as he walked out the doors


End file.
